I look at myself a year ago
and see myself in the cone of light emitted by a street light knowing I’m safe
And then I shift. Just a little
To the side
Turns out, as the cone and I pivot around each other
like God and Adam,
I’m not there anymore.
I saw this after a breakdown
A soul-rending tear-your-ribs-open-and-your-heart-open-and-the-deepest-pit-of-your-mind-open moment
And I was where I was.
In the dark
There is a light near me, though
It’s been with me a while and I thought I didn’t need it anymore
But someone lit it back up for me
Gently, this time.
A soul-to-soul heart-to-heart allowed-to-pull-sweater-over-bent-head-crying-on-chest gentle
And now I make my way through the dark with this gentlelight knowing I’m safer
Than I was before with my own light
Than I was before-before with a light but without wisdom
Than I was before-before-before without a light, just reflections on my cheeks glinting like the stars above me
I wouldn’t be able to see the stars if I were under the cone of the street light
I wonder why I didn’t see it before
But I’m glad I shifted
Just a little bit
Because I can now enjoy the stars with my little genteel light
I wonder if I ever get to the soft light of the street light
Maybe I won’t
Maybe I don’t need to get there anymore
Maybe I’m not supposed to stay in one place for too long
Because then I wouldn’t need my little gentle light
I wouldn’t see the stars
And I would fool myself again into thinking I’m under the light
Instead of looking through my own eyes
And seeing how far I have left to go
With my light.
I wonder what I’ll see with him.
=just a little poem i thought of while listening to a poetry teacher absolutely tear Yuri’s poem from Doki Doki Lit Club apart=
Lily Leaflets 